thank you.
finally , i avenged myself for sem1. some satisfaction. makes me believe the notion that hardwork brings results. thank you everyone who has supported me during my stressed-out periods. too many to be named but still i owe alot to my k family. i will continue fighting for my ambitions and screw you complacency,don't come near me.
but astro is a threat now, my coursework is kinda bad. gotta pia! 5 more days!
however, parents are coming down.. so.....hahaha..family time 1st.
-it's not the end,we've only just begun-
jiayou for the better, ppl!
one love ya'all
deh kamsahamida.
3:13:00 AM
kiwanaboy writes.
hello world, muahaha, yes it's true, it's me eric blogging again , secretly. well, i'm a grown up now. there's no need for me to oblige myself to blog periodically. i write whenever i wanna write.
life,
sem2 was a breeze, haha but i ain't sure about the results. lots have happened. friendships, sisterhood, misunderstandings, patching up, reunions, stress, acne-session, recurring and ongoing scalp infections, vday celebration, miscommunications, birthday celebrations, sucky accounting project,my new born nephew...these have shaped a newer part of me .
perhaps , i can summarise my sem 2 with this word: mood-swing.
aihz, this sem , i have been very reflective yet a big fat hypocrite. when i reflective, i tend to keep things to myself, show that natural black face of mine when im feeling perfectly fine inside. ppl , they call me emo-king when i emo, joker when i joke or talk rubbish ,
malay/gay when i do nothing at all. haha pay attention to that last line k. ahh.. such titles are no more than injection of humour into ppl's lives. i'm okay with it seriously. having no ego to begin with , such things i can tag along.as long as i know that deep down? I DON't WRONG anyone.
ppl say , hey eric, aren't u thinking too deep? aren't you taking this/that too seriously? heh, i can't answer these questions directly. well, FYI , recently , i've been talking to one of my dear friends, a very nice buddy, about this ...i realise, i do have a different side of me.. yupp. extrovert 100% and introvert also 100%. strange? nah, its who are around me at that point of time. i see that , when there are like one /two people, i immediately switch to a more serious side of me.. but when my k family members(most of the time) appear .. i will just zi high and become the silly stupid fool that everybody laughs at..oh btw, that's just a light hearted note. this is smth , i'm not sure to be scared of or just something i need to take note of , and try my utmost best to regulate and achieve this balance within me.
i shall bury the emo me , i don't emo for attention.. i just wanna regain back the happy go lucky me. no stress and let's just go with the flow .
i wanna be myself. a true blue simple guy . so what if i have no fashion sense? haha, well, actually i had none to begin with , truly those who have seen me in my clothes.. u can tell it for urself..indecent,uncle-like you name it.. ahahaha BUT ...be thankful, im not donning the emperor's new clothes. =P i'm comfortable w what i wear and nothing else matters.
it's raining now, freaking 3.43am. oooh i'm so loving it.. can feel my body breaking down slowwwwwly
ahh , b4 i forget lemme share a story of mine.. it's entitled 'the 44th minute of every hour''
these past 2 months, i have been NOTICING , observing the 44th minute on almost everytime
i glance upon time, be it watch , computer, chatting windows... GAWD.. i'm UBER paranoid abt this.. 1st thing that comes to my mind.. IS....not death. more of my gpa results.. lol.. haha kk on a serious note.. it is just a bad feeling ba.. come on, 44th minute leh .. SIAO eh .. one said, why are you so kancheong? dun look at the clock that often.
IT"S A HABIT. sien.. thing is i think my mind is SUBCONCIOUSLY counting the minutes away , and when it's abt to be the 44th minute, a quick impulse is sent from the brain to my neurons and right to my eyeballs, bringing about nothing but misery to my emotions. WHY god why ? is this a sign? haha a gpa of 4.4? hahaha that i don't mind. talking abt results its just hours away.. eh heck. i really have nth to say abt this sem. i just pray no Cs at all ... a b would do. just pull my cgpa to 4plus and i'll be happy.
i wanna enjoy life. i wanna regain some joy and happiness. the people ard me, they're great. nuff said.you guys know yourselves, dunno whether you'll be reading this , but then again , i thank you so much for the supports and love that u have showered me.
i'm blessed and i'm grateful for that. i don't really know when i'll be blogging again . but please god, protect and guide the ones who i care , love, cherish and am committed to. baby chris, when u grow older , i'll make sure u will have the best times of your life with great uncle eric around. i love you so much.
one love ya'all.
kamsahamida.
3:29:00 AM
recomposure.
hello life,
yet again , another blue-ey day for me. just gotten back my written assignment with a b- grade and b+ for my overall course component for accountings. *sobs*
well, this is life, u put in effort and SOMETIMEs, the results are just ain't proportional.
none the less, i have gone thru much more shit in NJ .. so whats this huh.. haha no excuses to be idling away for these setbacks.. hell no. what gave me the assurance? my parents.
mummy don't seemed worried at all. so i have no rights to be depressed either.
daddy's constantly pushing me on. NO parents = no eric. damn right . i loves me parents.
just cleaned my room as i had no mood to study .. oh i just finished doing some papers though... still facing difficulties for biz law and accounting.. its still a week away.. now the scarier part would be information technology. ah , this subject is really about luck lah .. whether you can think of the answers on the spot is the subject ryt now. anyways, i have set aside time for IT.
deep down , my hunger for excellence is still lurking somewhere .. tell me , who doesn't wanna do well. jiayou lah .. A+ for my final papers. haha .. at least it sets off the lousy half.. UPs lah ...UPs..
kuan yee , i have linked you ! thanks for the supports yah. must keep in touch . to my jiemeis , xiongdis..kamsahamida.
going to bathe now. prob enjoying a cup noodle with my neighbours later ..
'' datuk, dengarkan kata-kata cucu ya '' .
be with me .
1:40:00 AM
i know that goodbye means nothing at all..
hi world, my deepest apologies for not updating for nearly 3 months.. life in ntu is seriously damn busy. i strongly beg to differ to the fact where university life is fun. i can summarise my life in these few words, project tutorial deadlines, hallmate gatherings.. thats it. my simple life, yet time flies. there are definitely more pleasant memories to jot down in this blog.. but i've lost touched with my blog .. to all who tagged.. sorry for not replying yah.
it's 2.53am now ,
i feel abit emotional. ever wonder how a person's inner thoughts can be triggered with just one piece of photograph? just surfed up on somebody that was once or maybe not, IS still dearly to me . bittersweet memories just crop up out of nowhere and poof* here i am , not being able to sleep just thinking about what i have done and we've shared together. listening to this song '' SHE WILL BE LOVED'' by maroon 5 , really brings me back to our time..it's been 4 years ..
somehow i cannot explain for my regrettable actions and i understand that you cannot forgive me for all the pain i've put you through . if i'd told ya , it's a natural reaction, it will just not change anything ..
- if only i could turn back time,
- if only, i have said it out loud and clear.
- if only, i could predict the outcome
if only..
i would like to apologise to you my friend. i feel lost sometimes when it comes to feelings.. the facade is definitely overwhelming. we met this year, i was glad to see you but i just felt awkward a lil bit to express it out. oh dear , we definitely can't restore our original positions . i just would wanna keep in touch with you again. you know, a simple hi, how are you ? any eye candies ? kinda convo. but i just don't have the courage to pick myself up again. perhaps it's just my own karma and i am willing to face the consequences. there are things that i still remember about you ..
this may sound hypocritical but i would wanna move on completely. Years have passed,it's still difficult. i am sure you'd have. (:
*sighs*
i hope that this feeling will be gone after my sleeeeeeep.
''a promise that has been broken , not to be forgotten nor forgiven. for i am guilty''
take care and all the best to those taking their a levels and having their uni exams in weeks time. i am grateful to have great companies by my side now. thank you god.
2:48:00 AM
revival.
gosh , past 2 days were just TOO relaxing for me. i was just mingling around with hallmates and left my tutorials aside. played badminton yesterday and yes , did i feel the joy of playing the game i love. somehow, whether you're good at something is one thing , whether you are having FUN with the right company is another thing. talents are meant to be shown but not to be bragged. talents are somehow meant to entertain. =)
tonyt and SUNDAY, i die die must ChiOng ah! no time to lose. sooon , i will be holding my new ' bao bei ' sony ericsson phone. then , i shall be actively smsing people again. to all of you who kept in touch with me via msn i would sincerely like to apologise for idling away cos i kept on forgetting to switch off my msn and just left my status away. perhaps now, when my status is away , i AM REALLY AWAY. so do take note. i simply can't cope with MOTOROLA ..it's super user unfriendly. no offence to those having mOTo phones yah. i had no choice . its my sis's phone.
so many things to be accomplished. i need to gear up for my 1st ever badminton competition [inter block games] muahaha.. and my first ever match will be a MIXED doubles match. MAIN objective? 2nd round only.. haha diane, we must JIA YOU!! better not laugh when i start communicating with u ah !! kelvin , candice , yong chin, qiyong .. let's make 53 proud. by not being last. =P
veron: hahaha, okays! i always print in school ba. 4cents oni .. if i can walk further away from my school , i can print for FREE.. hahaha... NTU ROX lah.. hehe.. alot of njcians here. ruth ling hui aso here leh.. =) .. got handsome boys in NUS anot..
SUF: mat.. hahaha, these factors can't highlight in blogs .. haha , catch up with u soon.
BEE: hmmm, where have u been? body NTU but mind in BEIJING alr ha! hahaha jk.
chua: taikor , ngo dei oi kan lek jorr.. hahaha..mou tak slack.. go go go . yat ding wui tai bourne ultimatum.
one love ya'all
deh,kamsahamida
10:33:00 AM
affirmed.
at one moment , i was thinking about my future. what is a balanced life anyways? must it be RECORDED? so , i called my brother who is in moscow right now.
listening to him is seriously 'value-adding'. his tone sets the atmosphere . the way he speaks is simply assertive.
the next thing that happpened to me:advice was given and assurance just flows into my soul. that's my brother. one and only. my siblings are my special and irreplacable ASSETS.i love you two.
let's see what happen next okay? uni life isn't as 'fun' as what i would have perceived. but i'm already used to it thanks to NJ. that's just a comment. no praise nor critic.
when i am not in the mood for that particular event[gathering, dinner, ...etc] , i won't be up for it and i would make it crystal clear to everyone. no explanation is needed for i owe none to anyone.perhaps i could be anti-social, perhaps i'd just ruin the atmosphere if i do attend that event, perhaps i am just lazy. sometimes ,we need to be alone. even crazy people. privacy is so precious but do we realise it properly?are we fully aware it?
momentum is on the go. god, let me experience the peak the moment i need it the most. so far, i have no qualms about any decision that i have made so far. they are the right ones and it's a good sign.
reflection time:
FREEDOM is oNe ThiNg but too much freedom is reckless. something worth noting.
patience is virtue but too much patience is no good either.
sometimes ,we do things right but do we get the right results? we assumed them to be okay, but is it really okay? we can only experience and judge them for ourselves. others have their own opinions on issues but don't let comments affect your mind/behaviour for it is you who control your own life. friends are there to GUIDE not to determine our lives. stop dreaming and make plans for life including marriage. uni life is all about timing.
one love ya'all
deh, kamsahamida.
3:12:00 PM
oh no.
i have just done 6 questions from ONE tutorial . and i totally can't answer the last one and partially for the 4th one. oh no .it took me 3 hours. referred to my senior but i am still blur. CONCEPTUAL errors have begun and are going to haunt me again.. just like the good old days in NJC. crap. tmr , revision!!! and biz law tutorial. chiong ah!!
one love ya'all
deh,kamsahamida
12:43:00 AM
